


goin' straight

by GabrielArchangelOfTheLord



Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M, Supportive Dean, after chuck/amara before s13, author loves RSJs singing voice, dick jr and the volunteers, gabriel irl, goin straight, hints at alcoholism but only slightly, mention of the infamous pepsi ad, use of lyrics but only to give context
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-13
Updated: 2020-11-13
Packaged: 2021-03-09 21:41:41
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,210
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27543265
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GabrielArchangelOfTheLord/pseuds/GabrielArchangelOfTheLord
Summary: Goin’ straight comes on to the radio as the boys are in the bunker. Deans cooking burgers when it hits sam like a freight train. He knew that voice had heard that same voice singing him back to sleep after nightmares.Sam shouts out that it’s Gabriel, tilts his head, and realised he’s right. The revelation isn’t new to him, he’d seen the Pepsi advert and hadn’t told his brother.Posing as a fan Sam writes fan mail hoping to garner the angel's attention.
Relationships: Gabriel/Sam Winchester
Comments: 4
Kudos: 19





	goin' straight

**Author's Note:**

> Please feel free to let me have it on any issues within this or any of my other works. 
> 
> It has been brought to my attention not everyone, including myself, knows/knew about this opt-in for work adjustments and criticism so this is me opting in. if you read this and you write, please pass this on, even if you don't want it just put an opt-out in the notes. 
> 
> So come on guys give me your worst, I need to improve on all my works and every day is a learning day. even you feel like being mean about it, maybe you have had too many of these errors today or you need to vent go on ahead my dude. 
> 
> If you feel I need a Beta, feel free to offer or link me somewhere to find one, at the moment I work with grammerly and the read-aloud function only.

Well, I got a pall named mescal  
Yeah, we're gonna tie one on  
I gotta kill quite a few to forget about you  
And all the wrong you've done  
Nobody wins in this game of love  
I'm done tryna quench that thirst  
But all the down, all the memories will drown  
And I'm gonna get there first

The song started on the radio with neither brother paying it any attention, but as the verse ended the sound of the voice penetrated Sam’s research brain. It was only as the chorus started that he was absolutely sure. He had heard that singing voice years ago, his body drenched in sweat cuddled against a warm chest as its owner sang lullabies to soothe his frazzled brain, “That’s Gabriel's voice, I'm sure of it. How is that Gabriel's voice?”

“How do you know for sure Sam?” Dean's deep voice cut through Sam’s shock. He watched his baby brother’s face morph from shock to surprise and then to low simmering anger. He knew what his brother was thinking, it was why when Dean had caught a glimpse of Gabriel in an advert for Pepsi.

“I just know Dean.” Sam dipped his back down to his laptop. He had to find out for sure, he pulled up the fan page and dug through the band photos finally pulling up a picture. There he was. It was him. Sam sucked air through his teeth before pulling up the fan mail address and putting it at the top of a Word document so he could write a letter. He didn’t want to give himself away so Gabriel wouldn’t read it, but he wanted Gabriel to know by the end of the letter that it was him. 

‘Dick Jr, 

I recently stumbled on your music as it was aired on the local radio channel. I was stuck with the familiarity of the voice and wondered why I had heard it before, as I sought out the image of your band I knew.  
I know what you are, who you were, and why you continue to hide.  
When you read this letter, I don’t want you to panic, no one will ever learn it from me but I hope you realise how much it hurt that you never told me you were alive.’

Sam looked up at his brother, Dean hadn't stopped watching him as he had dived through the information he had needed. The hidden look of concern shone through Dean’s green eyes, “What's with the look Dean?”

“I knew. I didn’t want to tell you, I tried to talk to him, he didn’t want to know. I didn’t tell you because I knew how heartbroken it would make you.” Dean looked guilty now but Sam could see the reasoning behind it. He didn’t like it but he knew the reasoning, “Believe me, Sam, I just didn’t want to see you go through that again.”  
Sam smiled slightly at his brother letting him know he wasn’t going to hold a grudge. Looking back at the unfinished letter he sighed,

‘I’m told by someone that you wanted to be left alone to know this isn't me trying to guilt you into returning to be who and what you were before. Just know that it took a lot to get where I am now without you here and hope that one day when we are gone you can return to your life without us messing it up. 

Yours sincerely

Gabriel Winchester’

Sam knew that the name he signed would tell exactly who it was without anyone else reading it, people thought the Winchester brothers were just a story, and coupling it with Gabriel's true name would tell Gabriel it was true rather than a hoax.

Printing it Sam left to get it posted right away. He could feel Dean's eyes on him as he left the bunker's kitchen. He knew his brother was worried, but he wouldn’t go back to how he was when he thought that Gabriel had died. 

Between the apocalypse and the alcohol, Sam had been a mess. Now years later Sam was happy and stable. He had Dean, Cas, and jack living happy slightly peaceful lives. Everything was quiet these days, just the occasional vamp, or demon to deal with, pre-apocalypse stuff which was why they had been in the bunker.

It would take a week for the letter to reach its destination, another for it to get read through by the team that normally dealt with fan mail. It was only when a young man passed it to his supervisor that someone realise it needed to go to Dick. Just so he knew he had a crazy if nothing else. Another day came and went before Richard Speight Jr got the letter from it PA. he took it aside and read it after his OA had warned him, that it was an odd one and they were only letting him see it so he knew that they had a crazy.

As he read it though it became clear it wasn’t a crazy. Someone knew him, it wasn’t until he read the signed name that he knew who it was. He had an idea the clues had been there. They knew him, had heard him sing, had someone who knew he was alive. 

“Sam….” His voice cracked. He had wanted to go back. Honesty he had but the longer he had stayed away, the harder it had been. When Dean had gotten in contact fear had been kept him away. Dean had been harsh, as only a worried big brother could be, Gabriel had listened to every word that Dean had said, and then some he hadn't when he had delved into his mind to see if it was true.

He knew Sam had a finite life and knew losing him once was hard enough when it was only once. He wanted to save both of them the heartache. But now, Sam knew he was alive, and it sounded like he wasn’t going to hold this against him but he could help to hold it against himself.

He had loved Sam dearly and when he had staged his death for the benefit of his older brother he had intended to go back to Sam when the apocalypse was over but when it had come and gone and nothing had happened he had been unable to find either Winchester or his little brother. When he had found him again it was almost two years later and Sam was different and Gabriel couldn’t bring himself to break Sam’s equilibrium. He had watched Sam for two years after that and every even hurt him more and more until eventually one day he had stopped. 

Sam hadn't thought to look for him, he was dead but Gabriel had seen everything his lover had gone through, the psychiatric ward, the leviathans, Dean going to purgatory. He couldn’t go back and say he knew everything that had happened and he couldn’t lie to Sam. How could he continue to ignore Sam when he knew he was alive now.

‘This isn't me trying to guilt you into returning to be who and what you were before. Just know that it took a lot to get where I am now without you here and hope that one day when we are gone you can return to your life without us messing it up.’

The ending of the letter pulled at his heartstrings. Sam wasn’t expecting him to return, expected him to want to stay away. He could understand how Sam would think that but he didn’t.  
Maybe if he tested the waters.

Sam was nervous, he hadn't had a reply to his letter, and he sighed, if he was going to get one it would be here by now. Gabriel just didn’t want to know anymore.  
He plugged in his iPod and flicked to the new album he had downloaded. If he couldn’t have Gabriel he could at least hear his voice. The first song in the album started to play. 

Dean stopped outside of Sam’s room as the music played, he caught a glimpse of Sam leaned back against the wall, his eyes closed as he listened to Gabriel's voice. Leaving his brother to it he moved back towards the war room. 

“Gabriel, if you hear this, you better sort your life out. I know you know Sam knows you are alive now. If you leave him hanging I will hunt you down and sort it out for you. A yes or no Gabriel that is all he needs.” With a sigh, Dean sat down next to Cas and started to see if there was a job out there.

An hour had passed in silence when a knock rang out. Dean stared at the door expecting to be his imagination when another rang out, “Would you like me to answer it, Dean?”

Cas' gravelly voice shook Dean out of his head and he shook his head in reply. He was pretty sure he knew who it was and didn’t was Cas to scare him away. Getting up and climbing the stairs he pulled the heavy iron door open. He was right, there stood the recognisable short figure of Gabriel. “You actually came.”

Gabriel had a lost look in his eyes, he didn’t know what to do now he was here. He looked at Dean and then over his elbow down at his own little brother. He caught Cas' bright blue eyes, the recognition in them hurt when that turned into guilt and pain. He glanced back at Dean, this was entirely his fault.

Dean moved to the side letting the shorter man in, he followed the cautious steps downwards and stayed back when Cas stood to face his older brother. It was almost like time held its breath as the two stood facing each other. Dean almost said something when Cas flung himself at his older brother, encompassing him in a squeezing hug. Gabriel chuckled in relief, and let his brother stay attached to him until he pulled himself away a few minutes later. The tears still rolling down his cheeks made Dean move forward handing Cas a tissue from his pocket. Cas gave Dean a bright smile, “I should really see Sammy.”

Dean just pointed down the corridor letting Gabriel find his way. It wouldn’t be heard, when Dean had left his brother the music was loud enough to hear down the corridor, Gabriel would be able to follow it to his brother. Dean turned to face Cas and saw the blinding smile aimed at him, “You knew he was alive?”

Dean nodded, he hoped Cas wouldn’t hold it against him, “Does Sam know?”

Dean nodded again, “Only recently though.”

Cas nodded, he understood, it had to be Gabriel’s decision to return making him do so would result in pain and hurt feelings. Cas looked at the door leading to Sam and quietly hoped it would go well.

Gabriel stood at the door listening to his album playing back at him.

I'm over and done feeling used  
Yeah, you can come by but I ain't got the time  
I got some drinking to do

Gabriel stopped and watched the sliver of Sam he could see. If he didn’t know better he would say Sam was asleep. “Sam…”

The surprised jolt had Sam on half on the floor staring at Gabriel from upside down. His legs were akimbo over the mattress the sharp gasp that Sam gave from down on the floor had Gabriel taking an uncertain step back, “NO! don’t go!”

The resulting scramble from Sam would have been hilarious if Gabriel wasn’t so frightened about what was coming next, “You’re alive, really, truly alive…”

Gabriel felt a finger poke his chest but he couldn’t take his eyes off of the man before him, with the encouragement that he was real Gabriel suddenly found his lips taken over by Sam’s. he was so surprised that it wasn’t until Sam quickly pulled back a few seconds later he realised what had happened, “Sorry, sorry, I know you aren't here for that. I'm sorry. I was just so happy to see you my lips got the better of me. Don’t leave!”

Gabriel's jaw dropped as Sam started babbling at him and apologising over and over. Why would Sam apologise for kissing him? “Why are you apologising? I came to apologise to you, Sam. This is all my fault, I wanted to come back but the longer I stayed away the harder it became to come back to you. I know some of what has happened since I tricked my brother and with each event, I couldn’t do it.”

“I don’t care, you’re home. I'll take you in any capacity I can have you and if that means you're just here to stay away then I’ll take that too.” Gabriel sniffled, before throwing himself at Sam. He couldn’t think of any other way to make Sam see he was here for him and as they settled into the mattress where Gabriel has knocked them both could accept that this was where they needed to be.

It wouldn’t be easy but what is life ever was.


End file.
